Reduce Possession-Obsession

For many families, it’s a necessary pre-Christmas ritual: weeding through the old toys just to make room for new ones. Children typically have so much “stuff” they can’t keep track of or play with it all. When possessions become a priority, it’s time to re-evaluate your family’s stance on stuff.

Many of us keep materialism in check most of the year but then slip at Christmas. Although presents aren’t bad, you can ease the focus on materialism this season. For example:

**Remind your children that Jesus is our best gift. Make sure they know that Christmas is Jesus’ birthday and that God sent Jesus because he loves us. When you decorate for Christmas, leave a nativity scene manger empty. Wrap the baby Jesus figurine in a special box and open it on Christmas Eve. Then read Romans 6:23b: “The free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

**Discuss the gifts we can give to God. Talk about how you respond when someone gives you a nice gift. Ask children what they can do that God would really like, such as pray or tell a friend about him. As a family, fill out gift cards listing what you can each give to God. Then hang the cards from your Christmas tree or wrap them and place them under your tree as gifts to God.

**Encourage children to be generous. Emphasize the importance of giving, not receiving. As a family, participate in a service project for people in need. Help children experience the joy of giving by donating some time and money to others. Talk about how it feels to give, and discuss some ways you can continue doing so in the year ahead.
________________________________________________________________

Buy Buy!
• Each year, 8 to 12 year olds spend $30 billion of their own money and influence another $150 billion of parental spending.
(cbsnews.com)

• The negative effects of rampant materialism can be tempered by teaching kids to appreciate what they have. Preteens and teens who are both highly materialistic and highly thankful say they like to spend time helping others. (Harris Interactive)


Ask God:
1. To help your family focus on Jesus’ birth this Christmas.

2. To reduce your emphasis on buying and receiving.

3. To help your children treasure God, not earthly things.

___________________________________________________________________

Parenting Insights
Despite tough economic times, you can still have a special Christmas. Child-development expert Wanda Draper says, “Celebrating a more modest Christmas materially can be a blessing in disguise.” She offers these tips for easing materialism:

1. Don’t apologize for a reduced number of gifts. Just “say it will be a new kind of Christmas,” Draper says.

2. Discuss how everyone wants to celebrate. Recall previous holidays and what was special to each person.

3. Create homemade gifts for family members and friends. Making the gifts together can lead to even more great memories.

4. Give children an active role. Let them take part in Advent devotions, decorating, baking, caroling, and more.




“Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
Luke 12:15
___________________________________________________________________
Our earthly possessions won’t matter or be of any use when our lives end. As Luke 12:21 says, the only thing that matters is having “a rich relationship with God.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Teachable Moments

1. It’s a Boy!—Create a birth announcement for Jesus, complete with a baby footprint, if you have or know a newborn. Read Luke 1:35-38 and discuss how Mary reacted when she found out she was going to be Jesus’ mother.

2. 12 Days of Christmas—As a family, come up with 12 acts of service you can perform together during December. For example, shovel snow for a neighbor, donate extra blankets to a homeless shelter, and deliver cookies and cocoa to homebound seniors.

3. Shine On—Read Matthew 2:2, about the Christmas star. Cut out poster board stars and paint your names on them with glow-in-the-dark paint. Tape the stars to the ceiling above your Christmas tree. Turn off the lights and share ways you can guide others to Jesus, the best gift of all.

Take inventory of your children’s thoughts about “stuff” by asking these discussion-starter questions:

1. How can a person tell when he or she has too much stuff? How should you decide what to keep and what to give away?

2. How important are presents to you at Christmas time? How would the holiday be different if we didn’t exchange gifts?

3. What does it feel like to give someone a special gift? How do you expect a person to respond when you offer them a present?

4. What are some of the best gifts you’ve ever received? How is Jesus a gift from God?
___________________________________________________________________

Family Experience: Reason for the Season
Take a break from shopping to focus on what happened on that “Silent Night” in Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago.

• Celebrate Stillness—Gather several CD or music players and some Christmas music. Give everyone an index card and a pencil. Ask family members to write or draw what they’d like for Christmas. As they begin, play different Christmas music on all the players at the same time, at a loud volume. After one minute, stop the music. Say: “Now let’s focus on something else, without the distraction.” Place a figure of baby Jesus in front of family members and say, “For one minute, pray silently and ask God to show you what’s important about Christmas.” When time is up, ask: “What answers did you come up with? How was the noisy music like what often happens at Christmas?” Close in prayer, asking God to help your family find time to be quiet and thankful this season.

• Bring the Story to Life—Have family members choose different characters in the Christmas account. Together, write and present a short drama based on each character’s experiences. Discuss the different people’s perspectives and why Christmas was important to each of them. Make simple costumes. Videotape the play and watch it while enjoying Christmas cookies. You may also want to post the video on a video-sharing site and send the link to family and friends as part of your annual Christmas greeting.

Nurture Grateful Young Servants
November is the perfect time to transform our gratitude to God into acts of generosity toward others. These don’t always have to be “big” acts. William Wordsworth said “the best portions” of a good person’s life are his or her “little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.”

With some support from you, the little children in your life can make a big difference in the lives of other people. Here are some ideas to encourage gratitude and service:

Make serving fun. Spend an afternoon raking up leaves for elderly neighbors or church members. Afterward, dump a bag of the leaves on your own lawn, and throw some individually wrapped candy into the pile. After children search for the candy, discuss what makes helping others feel so “sweet.”

Enlist children in the Christian Secret Service (CSS). Deploy kids for undercover operations by having them serve others covertly. For example, they can leave sidewalk-chalk messages for neighbors, deliver cards at a local nursing home, or pick up trash at their favorite park.

Share your adventures in serving. During November and December, challenge family members to perform acts of giving and kindness. Then report the activities every night during dinner or family devotions. These can range from shoveling snow and delivering cookies to leaving a close-to-the-door parking spot open at the mall or helping someone carry his or her packages.

____________________________________________

Thoughts About Thankfulness
In a poll conducted last Thanksgiving, 41% of American adults said that after family and health, they’re most thankful for their religious faith. Adults over age 40 are more thankful for their religion than younger people are.
(Rasmussen Reports)

78% of Americans think the actions of one person can improve the world. The same number also believes they’re more involved in making a difference than their parents were.
(Parade)

Ask God:
* To give your children grateful hearts for all their blessings.

* To provide opportunities for your family to serve together.

* To make service a joyful, regular habit in your home.

Parenting Insights
In The Five Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell note that “parenting is a service-oriented vocation.” They offer tips for parents whose kids feel loved through acts of service that others perform for them:

Set a model of servanthood and responsibility. Don’t use acts of service to manipulate children or to offer them things that aren’t best for them or your family.

Keep acts of service age-appropriate. Don’t do things for children that they should be doing for themselves. As kids become ready, teach them how to serve themselves and then others.

Perform an attitude check. Remember that loving service is a gift. Daily, “mundane” tasks that parents perform for children are expressions of love that have long-term effects on children.

“Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.” Galatians 6:10

God wants us to act out our gratitude every day through “thanksliving,” an attitude of gratitude that shows itself through service to others.

_____________________________________________________

Teachable Moments

Read Up—For babies and toddlers, read aloud picture books about thankfulness, such as Thank You, God, for Everything by August Gold and Thankfulness by Cynthia Roberts. Talk about ways we say thank you to God and other people.

Pop Up—For preschoolers, play a game to express thankfulness. Have all family members crouch down on the floor. Then have people pop up randomly—and often—to say what they’re thankful for. Play another round, popping up to say how you can help others.

Sing Your Thanks—Visit www.group.com/groupmusic for free music downloads and more fun, simple activities to increase your family’s thankfulness. Also check out the “GroupMusic” Facebook page to suggest your own ideas for easy family activities about gratitude and Thanksgiving.


Start a conversation with your children about gratitude and servanthood by asking these discussion-starter questions:

What are some blessings God has given you? What blessings do you sometimes take for granted or forget to thank God for?

How do you show God that you appreciate his gifts? How can we thank someone we can’t see?

When you’re thankful, how does that make you want to act?

Why does God want us to help and serve other people? What are some ways we can do that as individuals? as a family?

___________________________________________________________

Family Experience: Service With a Smile
Try these activities from Group’s Hands-On Bible to help your family members explore ways to put thankfulness into action:

Food From Heaven—Use spoons to launch small marshmallows into one another’s mouths. Say: “We just fed each other in an amazing way. God fed his people in an amazing way, too.” Read aloud Exodus 16:11-21. Talk about how God provided for the Israelites and how he provides for your family. Add some leftover marshmallows to dried cereal, nuts, raisins, or pretzels to make a tasty “manna mix.” Ask: “What would it be like to gather your food off the ground each day? How can we help people who need food or other necessities?” Assemble a bag of nonperishable groceries and deliver it to a local food bank. Or make another batch of manna mix and give it to a family who needs encouragement. Tell this family you’re praying for them and that God cares about their needs.

Follow His Example—Have everyone take off their socks and shoes. Read aloud John 13:1-15, about Jesus washing his disciples’ feet. Say: “In Bible times, servants washed the dirty feet of guests. It was a lowly job, but Jesus did it to show that we should serve others.” Take turns giving one another foot massages. Ask: “Why was Jesus willing to be a servant? How can we encourage each other to remember to serve?” Have family members use permanent markers to write on a light-colored towel the name of someone they’d like to serve. Hang the towel in the bathroom as a reminder to follow through on your service ideas.


Culture & Trends
What’s happening right now that may affect your children and family:

Children are swearing earlier than ever, due to a rise in vulgarity among adults. Swearing “really takes off” between ages 3 and 4, says researcher Timothy Jay.
(www.livescience.com)

Almost all (92%) of U.S. babies and toddlers now have a “digital footprint,” thanks to photo-sharing and social-networking sites.
(CNN.com)
______________

Quick Stats
Two-thirds of adults with no-swear policies for children break their own rules.
(www.livescience.com)

Today’s children have 12 fewer hours of free time a week than kids did in the 1980s. (Univ. of Michigan)

Physically fit 9 and 10 year olds have bigger brain volumes and outperform out-of-shape peers on memory tests.
(Brain Research)

October 2010

Protect Kids From False Beliefs

Many parents worry about shielding their children from dangerous non-Christian influences. This is especially true at Halloween, which has become a $6 billion holiday. Because of the costumes and candy, most children adore Halloween. But parents face a dilemma: How much should children participate in a holiday that focuses on scary images often glamorizing death and the occult?

Avoiding Halloween entirely is one option. Another is providing Christian alternatives such as harvest events. Parents can also provide children with a faith-based understanding of Halloween. You can use the holiday to discover the differences between God’s truth and false beliefs. Here are ways to start:

***Explore children’s fears regarding death. Kids often ask tough questions that make adults uncomfortable. When topics such as death and the devil arise, let your home be a safe place where children can express their fears. Then turn to the Bible for answers.

***Share with children the history of Halloween. The holiday first marked the eve of All Hallows or All Saints’ Day, when Christians remember saints who’ve died. Talk about special family members or friends who are now in heaven with Jesus. Also share that all who believe in Jesus are called to be saints, or holy people (see Romans 1:7).

***Put on the “armor of God” as protection against evil. Read aloud Ephesians 6:10-20 and discuss how God keeps us safe. Let children dress up in this armor; for example, wear the belt of truth to recognize Satan’s lies and resist his temptations.

Trick or Truth?
• According to a recent Gallup Poll, one in 10 Americans objects to celebrating Halloween because of religious beliefs. In a poll at about.com, 40% of respondents said Halloween activities are harmless and fun.

• At edutopia.org, 52% of poll respondents said public schools should celebrate Halloween and that children whose parents object should be excused from the festivities. Another 41% said an alternative seasonal festival should include everyone.


Ask God:
1. To help you teach and remind children of God’s truths.

2. To protect your children from evil forces and activities.

3. To help your children learn to resist Satan’s temptations.

Parenting Insights
Start now to safeguard children against being misled by the false teachings of cults.

1. Love and accept children unconditionally. Show them that church is the place to find God’s love and acceptance.

2. Teach children to think critically. They must know what they believe and why.

3. Expect and encourage kids to question their faith. Doubts help spur faith growth.

4. Teach kids to understand the Bible. Always look at the context of verses.

5. Talk to children about false religions. Otherwise, they’ll be unprepared to evaluate and respond to cults when they’re out on their own.

6. Pray and trust the Holy Spirit. God promises to keep his children safe in his truth.



“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6

Jesus, our Savior, is the only source of truth and the only way to eternal life.

Teachable Moments

1. Bible Villains—Put a biblical spin on children’s interest in “bad guys” by learning more about Bible-time villains such as Pharaoh, Goliath, Bathsheba, Delilah, Haman, Pilate, and Judas. Discuss these people’s actions and how we can avoid being like them.

2. Reverse Trick or Treat—Surprise neighbors with an unexpected act of kindness. Bake some goodies and deliver them by ringing doorbells and saying, “Reverse trick or treat!” As you walk from home to home, talk about biblical truths such as the Golden Rule—and why God tells us to love our neighbors.

3. Let It Shine—Make some luminarias by decorating brown paper sacks and filling them each with sand and a votive candle. Line them along your sidewalk to light a path to faith in Christ at Halloween. Read aloud Isaiah 9:2 and share ways you can help others see the light of Jesus all year long.

Talk about children’s fears and beliefs by using these conversation-starting questions:

1. What kinds of things frighten you the most, and why? Why do you think Jesus tells us to not be afraid (see John 6:20)?

2. What makes you feel better when you’re scared? How do you comfort other people when they’re facing fears?

3. How can you tell when other people are telling the truth?

4. Why does Jesus want us to live according to his truth found in the Bible? How can we make sure we do that?

Family Experience: Nothing But the Truth
Use these activities to discover where we can find real truth. The first works well with younger children, and the second works well with older children.
• Pumpkin Matchup—Remove the seeds and pulp from two pumpkins. Carve them together, reserving large pieces from your designs. Place all the pieces on a tray in the center of the room. Place the carved pumpkins at opposite ends of the room. Then form two teams and have teams each stand by a pumpkin. Say: “Let’s complete our pumpkins. Race to match your team’s pieces to your pumpkin. If a piece doesn’t fit, return it to the pile. Afterward, say: “It isn’t always easy to find the right match for things.” Read 1 John 2:5. Say: “Jesus wants us to do things that match up with the Bible. Following Jesus makes us complete.”

• Searching for the Truth—Fill a large tub with ice cubes and 20 or 30 clear marbles. Have family members try to pick up the marbles with their bare toes. Ask: “How easy or difficult was this task? How were the marbles different from or similar to the ice? How is distinguishing between marbles and ice cubes with your toes like or unlike deciding what’s true and what isn’t?” Say: “What’s false often looks or feels like truth. Just as our feet got cold and numb from the ice while we were looking for the marbles, sometimes false things can make us numb to the truth. The best way to know truth is to pick up and hold on to God’s Word.” Read aloud Psalm 119:105 and discuss ways that God’s Word lights our path and warms our hearts. Then enjoy a warm snack.

Help “De-stress” Your Children

Back-to-school season, while exciting, can be unsettling for young students. They may worry about facing new teachers, classrooms, and classmates. Other children feel stressed because of busy schedules or high expectations that they or their parents set.

Preteens report that school, homework, and grades are their top causes of stress. Feeling like they have to be perfect just adds to some children’s anxiety. Signs of perfectionism include being afraid to fail or take risks, never being satisfied with one’s success, feeling insecure, and lacking flexibility. Here are some tips for helping children realize when “good enough” is good enough:

*Encourage children to enjoy the process rather than just the outcome. Emphasize that the important part of school is to have fun learning, practicing, and doing, rather than being an immediate expert. It’s okay to dream big, regardless of the outcome.

*Provide age-appropriate tasks to build confidence. To prevent frustration and getting “stuck,” show children how to tackle achievable tasks one at a time.

*Accept “good enough” yourself. Try not to dwell on children’s mistakes. Offer many more comments about what they’re doing right than about what they’re doing wrong. Talk about times you’ve done your best and been satisfied with a less-than-perfect outcome.

Me, Worry?
• 31% of children ages 9 to 12 say they “worry a lot,” and 47% suffer from insomnia. (Children’s Ministry Magazine)

• Children whose family lives are stressful are nearly twice as likely as other kids to have low levels of school engagement and four times as likely to have behavioral and emotional problems.
(“Stressful Family Lives” by Kristin Moore & Sharon Vandivere)

• About 14% of children ages 5 to 12 spend an average of about one hour alone at home after school. Kids left alone tend to have more difficulty handling school assignments.
(momdadchat.com)


Ask God:
1. To help your children have a positive school year.

2. To help you and your children manage life’s stresses.

3. To help you resist the urge to be a “perfect” parent.


Parenting Insights
Psychologist Les Parrott III, writing in Children’s Ministry Magazine, offers these ways to lower children’s stress levels:

1. Take care of your stress. Monitor your stress level and protect yourself from running on empty. Take time to relax and find social support.

2. Model coping skills. Keep calm when problems arise because children will follow your example.

3. Acknowledge children’s feelings. Help them find words and “I” statements to express their frustrations.

4. Accept stress as normal. Jesus told his disciples they’d face troubles. But it’s possible to turn stressful times into times of growth.

5. Know when to seek help. When children’s stress turns to panic, consult a professional.



“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
1 Peter 5:7

Jesus warns that his followers will face earthly trials, but he also promises to protect and comfort us. Because our loving God is in control, we can put all our anxieties on his shoulders.

Teachable Moments

1. Under Pressure—Give family members each an inflated balloon, and have them gradually step on it as everyone calls out stresses and pressures. When all balloons are broken, read aloud Philippians 4:6 and share ways that God helps us deal with stress.

2. Puzzled—Work on a jigsaw puzzle and talk about the challenges of putting all the pieces of a puzzle—and life—together. Read aloud Luke 1:37 and discuss how Jesus helps us solve even the toughest problems.

3. Built to Last—Together, use blocks or LEGOS to make as tall of a tower as possible. Talk about why your creation always falls down and why our efforts to be perfect will always fail. Then discuss ways that God is our sturdy foundation and how we can stand tall in him.


Help your children open up about stress and perfectionism by asking these discussion-starter questions:

1. What excites and worries you about going back to school?

2. What good does it do to worry about things we can’t control? What are some ways we can hand our worries to God?

3. What are some things you try to do “just right,” and why? How do you feel when you mess up?

4. How do you know when you’ve done your best or when something is “good enough”? How can you be satisfied with that?

Family Experience: Putting It in Perspective

Try these fun activities to put problems and priorities in place:

• Lift Your Hearts—With permanent marker, draw a heart on a hard-boiled egg. Pour ½ cup salt into a paper cup with “Jesus” written on the side. Fill a clear jar half full of water. Hold the egg so everyone can see the heart. Say: “Sometimes our hearts feel heavy with worries. What are some worries you have?” As you drop the egg into the jar of water, say: “Worries make our hearts sink inside us. But Jesus can take away those worries.” Pour the salt into the jar and stir the water for a while. Read aloud Matthew 11:28-30. When the egg rises to the top and floats, say: “When we give our worries to Jesus, our hearts become lighter.” Close in prayer.

• Balancing Act—Align the edge of a book exactly along a table edge. Ask: “What are some of your responsibilities? Sometimes it seems like we can’t get everything done in a day. Each responsibility puts us a bit closer to being over the edge.” Place a second book atop the first so it hangs one inch beyond the edge of the first—and over the table edge. List responsibilities as you keep placing three more books in the same manner. Ask: “How could I place each of these books without any of them falling? What would happen if I moved the bottom one?” Move it and watch the books fall. Read aloud 2 Chronicles 27:6. Say: “A priority is something that’s more important than another thing.” Ask: “What could happen if we don’t keep our priorities in order? How can keeping our priorities straight help us deal with life’s stresses?”

August 2010


Help Kids Grow Their Friendships

Friends are vital to children’s emotional and social development. Through friendships, kids learn to share, set boundaries, make decisions, and respect others. Having friends also makes children feel supported, which boosts their self-esteem.

With a new school year right around the corner, many children are thinking about reuniting with classmates and friends. But fears about bullies may also exist. No child is immune to mistreatment by peers. Here are some ways to help kids develop love, respect, and kindness toward one another while maintaining a healthy sense of self:

Love each other. Help children make the connection between how Jesus loves and cares for us and how he wants us to love and care for one another. Make the Golden Rule a top priority in your home (“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you,” Matthew 7:12).

Agree to disagree. Children need to hear and learn that it’s okay to disagree with others because God made us all different. But it’s never okay to hurt someone with our words or actions.

Everyone’s important. Help children find the acceptance and recognition they seek by focusing on activities and behavior standards that are positive, fun, and rewarding. Guiding kids toward loving themselves is key to helping them love other people.



When Social Interaction Goes Awry
• A staggering 160,000 children miss school each day because they’re afraid of attack, intimidation, or bullying. (NEA)

• 33% of special-needs kids have been targets of bullying.
(aboutourkids.org)

• Children whose parents share ideas and talk often with them are 40% less likely to bully other kids, compared to children of parents who don’t do those things regularly.
(health.com)

• 56% of mothers say they’ve ended a friendship because they thought someone’s child was a bad influence.
(cafemom.com)


Ask God:

1. To help your children make positive, lasting friendships.

2. To give your children the confidence to speak up about bullying.

3. To show your family members how to befriend one another.




Parenting Insights

These developmental tips from Children’s Ministry Magazine show how friendships grow along with children:

Ages 2 to 4
Young children depend on others to help them develop social skills. Use praise to reinforce good behavior, such as sharing. Help children refine their negotiation skills to resolve conflicts. Give them ideas of what to say.

Ages 5 to 8
Kids this age are learning to choose their friends. Their self-image is strongly related to others’ opinions of them. To help a bully, emphasize respect and model how to handle conflict without anger.

Ages 9 to 12
Parental authority diminishes, and kids want to be with their friends more. Discuss the qualities of a good friend and the down side of cliques and gangs.



“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.”
John 15:13-14




Teachable Moments

1. Stick With Love—Buy some stickers that have messages about friendship, and let children pass them out to friends. Read 2 John 5-6 and talk about what it means to love our friends.

2. Everyone’s Invited—When children feel left out or are excluded from a party, talk about how life isn’t always fair or equal. Read Luke 14:7-14 together and discuss ways to include people and not discriminate.

3. Time to Reflect—Let babies and toddlers see themselves and their playmates in mirrors. Say names aloud as children see the reflections so they can begin to attach names to other people.

4. Keep in Touch—During summer, help children send postcards to their friends. Even if postcards aren’t from a trip, correspondence will teach kids about nurturing their special relationships.


Learn more about children’s experiences with friendship by asking these discussion starters:

1. What are the most important qualities in a friend, and why?

2. How good of a friend do you think you are? How might you be able to be a better friend to someone?

3. How do you handle conflicts with your friends? What role does forgiveness play in friendships?

4. When you’re being bullied or see someone else being bullied, what’s the best way to handle the situation?




Family Experience: Friends First

Discover the meaning of true friendship with these activities from Group’s Hands-On Bible:

• After You—Challenge family members to put other people first for a whole day. Say: “See what it’s like to open doors for others, let everyone go in front of you in line, let others be served first, let others choose what to watch or play, and so on.”

At the end of the day, give each family member a piece of paper and a pencil. Say: “Draw a giant number one. Inside it, write what it was like to be last at things.” Read aloud Mark 9:35b. Ask: “What happens when we put others first? Why do you think Jesus wants us to act that way?” Say: “Living like this may have felt a little weird, but that’s what Jesus did for us!” Pray together, and have each person pray for someone else in the family.

• Tied Together—As a family, make friendship bracelets. (Easy instructions are available on the Internet.) During the craft time, talk about your friends and what you would or wouldn’t do for them. Read Ruth 1:16 and discuss the friendship between Naomi and Ruth, her daughter-in-law. Ask: “How do you think Naomi felt about Ruth’s loyalty? How can we be loyal to our friends and each other?”

Say: “Knots can remind us of bonds that can’t be broken, like the bond between Ruth and Naomi. Give away your bracelet to thank a friend for always being there for you.” Hang an extra bracelet on a doorknob at home as a reminder that family members are good friends, too.

Help kids talk and listen to God

For Christians, prayer is a privilege. We have direct, 24/7 access to the God who created and saves us. But prayer isn’t just for grown-ups. Jesus wants little children to come to him (Matthew 19:14) and to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Prayer is a powerful way to harness kids’ love of words. Between the ages of 2 and 5, a child’s vocabulary explodes from about 50 words to thousands. And who better to talk to than God? Yet even Jesus’ disciples needed help learning how to pray (Luke 11:1). Keep these things in mind as you teach children to connect with God:

Prayer is an attitude. Praying constantly means we’re always aware that God is here. We can sense God’s presence with us no matter our circumstances. We can pray about anything and everything, including other people and their needs.

Prayer is a routine. Regular times with God help shape our prayer attitude. Help children establish “check in” times with God, not out of obligation but out of love.

Prayer is a first response. When troubles and tough decisions loom, we can turn to God before trying anything else. Prayer should be our first resort, not our last.

Prayer is listening to God. Prayer is a dialogue that involves letting God speak to us through everyday life. Because prayer is two-way communication, we also should practice listening to God.

Prayer is modeled. The best way to challenge your children to pray is by letting them see and hear you praying often. Regularly share with them how you see God at work through your prayers.

How Often Do You Pray?
In a survey, American adults reported praying:
• More than once a day—24%
• Every day—31%
• Several times a week—16%
• Several times a month—10%
• Several times a year—9%
(Lutheran Brotherhood/USA Today)




Ask God:
1. To help your family members stay in touch with God.

2. To show your children that prayer involves more than just making requests.

3. To keep your family members open to hearing God’s voice.

Parenting Insights

Children’s perceptions of communicating with God change as they grow:

Ages 2 to 3
Young children understand that Jesus is their friend. Say (or sing!) simple prayers that relate to children’s lives.

Ages 4 to 6
Children this age become very aware of the world around them. Let kids know that God cares about everything that happens to them and other people.

Ages 7 to 9
These children feel a need for God’s help and can verbally express thoughts. Help them look up Bible verses about prayer.

Ages 10 to 12
Preteens realize God is more personal. Let them understand that no prayers are insignificant to their heavenly Father.




“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7

God always hears and answers our prayers, though not always in the way we want or expect. Persistent prayer helps us build a deeper relationship with God, who longs to give us good gifts.

Teachable Moments

1. Mix It Up—Prayer is never inappropriate, so encourage children to pray whenever and wherever they want to. Try praying together in a variety of ways, including kneeling, standing, lying down, lifting your hands, and so on.

2. Echo Each Other—With young children, pray aloud one brief phrase at a time and teach them to echo you. As kids gain confidence, you can switch roles and they can lead.

3. Lighten Up—Show children it’s fun to talk to God. Allow prayer to be goofy at times. Try shouting or whispering a prayer. Use rhymes and motions to capture children’s attention. Let kids thank God for whatever is important to them—even if it’s a stuffed animal or video.

Start a discussion about the importance of talking and listening to God by asking children these questions:

1. Why do you think God wants us to pray to him? How often and how should we pray?

2. Does God hear and answer all your prayers? How do you know?

3. What does it mean to listen to God’s voice? In what ways does God speak to us today?

4. What things should we pray about together as a family? How can we add more prayer time to our daily lives?

Family Experience: Prayer Prompts

Use these prayer-related activities to help children become more comfortable with praying to God and hearing his answers.
• On Target—Using markers, have children draw a target with six circles. Then have them use pencils to fill in people and places to pray for. In the outer circle, they can write a country. In the next circle, they can write a family in their neighborhood. The rest of the circles can represent a friend, teacher, or family member. In the center, have children write something they’d like to pray for themselves. After a week, erase those requests and fill in new ones.

• Rewind and Fast Forward—Practice a prayer routine by having kids think back to the beginning of their day. Say: “Pantomime in fast motion all the things you did to get ready this morning. When I say ‘freeze,’ stand still and think about what was on your mind then.” Repeat the game, asking kids to act out what they’ll do to get ready for bed tonight. Say: “This time when I call ‘freeze,’ pray about something that happened today.” Encourage family members to talk to God about their day every morning and night.

• Still Waters—Have family members spread out and silently read Psalm 23. (Assist younger children.) Say: “Choose one verse to talk to God about. Then ask God a question and wait silently for him to speak. He may speak just one word or give you an image in your mind.” After five minutes, share what you each heard. Remind everyone that listening to God isn’t magical and takes practice.


Culture & Trends
What’s happening right now that may affect your children and family:

• Togetherville.com wants to introduce children to safe social networking. The free site is intended to be used with parents.

• The race is on to name the next generation, even though they’re still in grade school. Ideas include Generation Z, Generation Net, iGen, and Homelanders.
______________

Quick Stats
• A whopping 99% of parents reported that their children prefer playing with electronics to playing outside.
(Colorado State University)

• Boredom is healthy for kids. Author Kim John Payne says one-third of a child’s life should be busy; one-third, creative time; and one-third, downtime.
(Simplicity Parenting)

• Forty-three percent of parents favor year-round schools.
(Parenting.com)

JUNE 2010


Grow Kids’ Faith This Summer

The warm, relaxing summer months are perfect for reconnecting as a family. They’re also ideal for helping your children stay connected to God and boosting their faith in him.

For starters, participate in faith-building opportunities available in your community. These include vacation Bible school, church camps, outdoor worship, mission projects, and more. But realize that faith growth can occur in unstructured, day-to-day settings, too. By talking to your children often about God—and your relationship with him—you model faith in action for young Christians.

Use these ideas as a springboard for summer faith growth:

Take it all in. Admire God’s handiwork as you travel and sight-see. Acknowledge and thank our Creator. Use simple object lessons; for example, draw a line of chalk in front of some ants and notice that most of them won’t cross it. Then talk about what it means to follow and obey God.

Take out the “trash.” Together, clean up a park or street. Then discuss what God wants us to fill our minds and hearts with (see Philippians 4:8).

Take it outside. For variety, conduct your family devotions outside in the shade. Use a book-club format to go through a book of the Bible or a children’s Bible storybook. Encourage questions and have children put themselves in the people’s shoes. Then apply the lessons to situations we face each day as we walk with God.



Summertime Stats

As you nurture your children’s faith this summer, also keep tabs on their physical and mental well-being.

• More than 10% of children between the ages of 6 and 12 care for themselves during the summer months, without supervision. If you can’t afford outside child care, arrange to swap baby-sitting with a trusted friend.

• Most kids lose an average of two months of learning during the summer. Keep them growing mentally by participating in your local library’s summer reading program.


Ask God:
1. To bless your summer months with fun, rest, and faith growth.

2. To work in your children’s hearts and give them the desire to know God more.

3. To safeguard your family members physically and spiritually this summer.


Parenting Insights
Never underestimate the power of family faith conversations. They’re critical for childrens’ spiritual development. So often, though, we feel ill-equipped to openly discuss matters of faith. Remember the handy acronym ALOT to help you tackle any topic from a faith-based perspective.

• Ask—Find out how your child feels about the situation or topic.

• Listen—Listen actively, without interrupting, while your child responds.

• Open—Open your heart—and your Bible, if you need to.

• Talk—Talk about your thoughts and feelings on the subject—and how they’re shaped by God’s Word. Then also talk to God in prayer about the issue.




“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”
Hebrews 11:1


When we believe in God and trust his promises, we can be certain of his work in our lives—and of spending eternal life with him in heaven.


Teachable Moments

1. Fruits of Faith—Pass around a basket of fruit. Have each person select a fruit that represents a character trait; then have that person share who their fruit represents and why. This is a great way to affirm the faith traits you see in one another.

2. Faith Stretchers—Give each person a rubber band, and talk about how it feels when your faith is stretched. Have each person stretch their rubber band to show how stretched their faith has been lately—a little or a lot.

3. Faith Quilt—Create a quilt-type mural to signify your family’s commitment to faith in God. Brainstorm ways you serve God and new ways you can honor him in your home. Write or draw these ideas on squares of white card stock, and tape them to a wall. Add to your mural all summer long.



When you hit the road or just kick back with your children this summer, encourage them to open up about life and faith by asking these discussion-starting questions:

1. What dreams and plans do you have for the summer? What goals should our family set for the next couple of months?

2. When you think about your priorities, where does faith come in? How can people tell how important your faith is to you?

3. How strong would you say your faith is right now? What are some ways we can trust God more?

4. Which of God’s promises means the most to you now, and why?



Family Experience: God’s Wonderful World

Learn about God’s creation—and our role in it—by doing these summertime activities together.
• Shine—To make your own “planetariums,” place oatmeal containers on scrap wood to protect floors. Help kids use a hammer and nail to gently punch holes in the bottoms of the containers. Turn out the lights. Put flashlights inside the containers and enjoy the light show on a ceiling or wall.

Say: “Stars are large balls of gas that produce color, heat, and light. A star changes over time, but it takes millions—even billions—of years to live out its life span. The eye can typically see 2,000 stars on a clear night.” Then ask: “What would night be like without stars?” Read aloud Matthew 5:14-16. Ask: “Why do you think God wants us to be lights on earth? How can you shine for God?”

• Grow—Plant seeds close enough to the sides of clear plastic cups to be visible. Care for the seeds by giving them water and sunlight. After about a week, roots will be visible.

Read aloud 1 Corinthians 3:7. Ask: “How did your seed form roots? What role did you, the potting soil, and the water play? What role did God play? Could the plant have sprouted without God?” Talk about ways we rely on God for our spiritual and physical growth. Close in prayer, thanking God for making all things possible.



What’s Playing at the Movies

Movie: The Karate Kid (June 18)
Genre: Family drama, action
Rating: PG (for bullying, martial-arts action violence, and some mild language)
Cast: Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson
Synopsis: In this remake of the 1984 film, 12-year-old Dre has to leave Detroit for China because of his single mother’s job. Dre is smitten by a female classmate, but cultural differences stand in the way. He also becomes the target of the school bully. A maintenance man teaches Dre kung fu, which helps him mature and makes life in his new surroundings more bearable.
Discussion Questions: Think of a time you’ve been an outsider: What made you feel like you didn’t belong? What helped you adjust to the new situation? Read aloud Romans 12:2. What are some ways you maintain distance from the world while living in it?


What Music Is Releasing

Artist: Hanson
Album: Shout It Out
Artist Info: Before the Jonas Brothers, there was Hanson, a three-brother pop band from Oklahoma best-known for the 1997 hit “MMMBop.” Now in their 20s, Isaac, Taylor, and Zac record under their own label. They’re also involved with fighting poverty and AIDS in Africa.
Summary: Shout It Out, Hanson’s fifth studio album, is full of energetic, R&B-flavored pop rock and tributes to classic artists. Several songs, including “Thinking ’Bout Somethin,’” address relationships gone awry. “Me Myself and I” is about self-reliance: “There’s still someone that I can tell my troubles to. Me, myself and I will never be alone.”
Discussion Questions: What things can you do well on your own? Do you mind asking for help? Why or why not? What are the pros and cons of being independent? Read aloud 1 Corinthians 12:12. What does it mean to you to be part of a larger “body” of Christ?


______________

Quick Stats
• 85% of parents believe they have the primary responsibility for their children’s moral and spiritual development.
(Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions by George Barna)

• The number of day camps in the U.S. has grown by nearly 90% in the past 20 years. More than half of camps now include community-service programs.
(acacamps.org)

May 2010

May2010





Live As Forgiven and Forgiving People

God created us perfect, in his image. But after sin entered the world, we needed a Savior. The good news of Easter is that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and then rose again. Because of his victory, we can have the free gifts of forgiveness and eternal life.

As forgiven people, God tells us to extend forgiveness to others who wrong us. That can be tougher than it sounds, especially when an offender doesn’t seem repentant. But God will work on our hearts and give us a desire to forgive when we ask him for help.



Here are some insights about forgiveness from God and for others:

Children first learn what forgiveness is by experiencing it firsthand. As kids experience the feeling of being forgiven, they can begin to forgive those around them. Eventually compassion will compel them to forgive as Christ calls them to—whether or not the people who hurt them are sorry.

Forgiveness is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness costs us something, just as it cost Christ dearly on the cross. When we forgive someone, we resist our urge to retaliate, to get even, to make someone pay for their mistakes. We become vulnerable as we allow that person back into our lives. And that’s a big part of loving others.

As you help children understand forgiveness, let them know that they can fully experience Jesus’ gift of forgiveness when they obey his command to forgive.

Ask God:
1. To forgive sins that have been weighing you down.

2. To show your family the power of his forgiveness and mercy.

3. To help you all forgive each other, just as God forgives you.


Parenting Insights

Because forgiveness is an abstract concept, children may have difficulty grasping it. Here’s how their thinking develops:

Ages 3 to 5
These children are concrete thinkers who understand life in literal terms. Ask questions to help kids make connections. Show forgiveness to a repentant child with hugs and smiles. Say, “I love you. I forgive you.”

Ages 6 to 8
Children this age are connecting new ideas to old information. Help them make associations. Model a relational Christianity, showing kindness.

Ages 9 to 12
Some kids can now think abstractly. Older kids learn best by applying abstract concepts to familiar experiences. Let kids ask questions, and value their ideas.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15

God promises to forgive and forget our sins, but he also commands us to do the same thing for people who hurt us.


Teachable Moments

1. Practice Sincere Apologies—Learning to apologize takes practice. Help children learn to say they’re sorry through nonverbal means (drawing a picture, giving a hug, etc.). During family prayers, practice saying, “I’m sorry.” Admit to Jesus that we make mistakes and are sorry; then ask for forgiveness together.
2. Find Healing—Read aloud Psalm 32:1-7. Discuss what caused David’s heart to be sick and how he got rid of it. Talk about times you’ve felt bad after doing something wrong. Say: “When we confess our sins and tell God we’re sorry, he forgives us and makes our hearts well.”

3. Be an Example—When you do something wrong, let children see you apologize. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for, and ask for forgiveness.


Explore the good, gracious news of God’s forgiveness by asking your children these questions:

1. Why do we do wrong things—and why do we not do good things we know we should do?

2. How does sin make you feel inside? What would it feel like if no one offered to take away all those sins?

3. Why do you think Jesus wants to forgive us? What do we have to do to get that forgiveness from him?

4. Why is it often hard to forgive others? How do you feel when you tell someone else that you forgive them?



Family Experience: Freely Forgiven

Dive further into the topic of forgiveness by using these easy but powerful activities from Group’s Hands-On Bible.

• Goodbye Sins!—Say: “Think of a sin, or wrong thing, you’ve done.” Then let each family member use a highlighter to write on a coffee filter a sin that he or she has committed. (Assist young children.) Say: “Now confess that sin to God and ask him to forgive you.” Put a few drops of lemon juice on the writing, and watch as your “sin” disappears. Read aloud 1 John 1:8-9. Say: “The lemon juice made the writing disappear. When we tell God we’re sorry for our sins, he forgives us. He makes our sins completely disappear from his sight! We may still have to deal with the consequences of our sins, but when God forgives a sin, it’s gone.” Close in prayer, thanking God for his amazing gift of total forgiveness.

• Forgiveness Spelled Out—Write the word forgive down the left side of a chalkboard (or down a piece of paper). Share with one another how it feels to be forgiven. Then write one of those feelings next to each letter; for example, Fresh, Optimistic, Relieved, Grateful, Invigorating, and so on.

Put the chalkboard in a place where everyone can see it during the coming week. Use it as a reminder to thank God often for his gift of forgiveness. Throughout the week, add to the list as you think of other words that remind you how forgiveness feels.


That’s Not What the Bible Says!

Recent research from the Barna Group shows how people’s beliefs stray from what the Bible teaches:
• 74% of adults don’t believe that people are born sinful (“original sin”). Instead, they believe that “when people are born, they are neither good nor evil—they make a choice between the two as they mature.”
• 42% of adults say Jesus sinned while he lived on earth.
• 50% of adults say anyone who “is generally good or does enough good things for others during their life will earn a place in heaven.”
This page is designed to help educate parents and isn’t meant to endorse any movie, music, or product.
Our prayer is that you’ll make informed decisions about what your children watch, listen to, and wear.


What’s Playing at the Movies

Movie: Oceans (April 22, Earth Day)
Genre: True-life adventure
Rating: G (some nature-related suspense and peril)
Cast: Nature
Synopsis: In a follow-up to Earth, Disneynature offers a look below the seas, which cover three-fourths of our planet. The directors dive deep into life-sustaining waters, using new technology to offer stunning up-close views of nature, animals, and vanishing wonders.
Discussion Questions: What amazes you most about God’s creation? What would you say to people who insist that no Creator was involved in making it? Read aloud Genesis 2:15. What responsibilities do we have to care for our planet? How is caring for our environment an act of love toward God and other people?


What Music Is Releasing

Artist: Amy Grant
Album: Somewhere Down the Road
Artist Info: Grant, who’s been singing for more than 30 years, has sold more than 30 million albums worldwide. She’s known for storytelling songs that explore life’s joys and struggles.
Summary: Grant’s 19th album contains six brand-new songs and some older favorites. “Better Than a Hallelujah” is already being played extensively on Christian radio. “Overnight,” which features Grant’s 18-year-old daughter Sarah, reminds listeners that answers to some prayers take time: “If it all just happened overnight, you would never learn to believe in what you cannot see.”
Discussion Questions: For you, what’s the hardest thing about waiting? Would you want God to instantly answer your every request? Why or why not? Read aloud Romans 8:25 and Hebrews 11:1. What are some things you’ve learned from having to wait? How do waiting and hoping affect your faith?


What’s happening right now that may affect your children and family:

• As part of the new health-care legislation, fast-food chains will be required to list menu calorie counts. Anti-obesity advocates hope this will spur chains to offer healthier options.

• The new buzz word “hyperlocalization” describes people looking for communities to belong to, as well as marketers connecting to families at home.
______________

Quick Stats

• Short breaks can help with problem behavior. In a study of 11,000 third-graders, children given a 15-minute break to play and chat had better behavior ratings.
(Albert Einstein College of Medicine)

• More than half (51%) of moms say they listen to their kids more than their parents did. And 82% of kids say they give input about their mom’s clothing.
(JustKid)

Celebrate Jesus’ Resurrection

Each spring, we see reminders of new life and rebirth. Trees bud, flowers bloom, and butterflies emerge from their cocoons. For Christians, the most important celebration of new life is Jesus’ death and resurrection at Easter. Children may associate this holiday mainly with bunnies, baskets, and candy. So it’s important to share with them the real reason we rejoice: the empty tomb.

Use these creative ideas to share the Easter message with children of all ages. Let them know that Jesus, our loving Savior, died and rose again so we can go to heaven and be with him forever.

Palm Sunday—Make “praise shakers” to celebrate Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem. Decorate the bottoms of paper plates, fill them with beads or unpopped popcorn, and then staple together the edges. Add streamers and then have a parade. Shout out praises to Jesus and make noise to celebrate that he is our King.

Good Friday—Buy a small vine wreath at a craft store and insert toothpicks to resemble the crown of thorns Jesus wore. Whenever a family member makes a sacrifice for someone else, they should remove one thorn. On the night before Easter, after your children are asleep, remove the remaining thorns and decorate the crown with white ribbons and bright flowers.

Easter Sunday—Using a stamp pad and colored pencils, make thumbprint pictures that tell the Easter story. For example, draw a tomb with a rolled-away thumbprint rock and a butterfly with thumbprint wings.


Faith Findings
· Researcher George Barna found that children are most likely to believe in Jesus as their Savior and form a lifelong relationship with him between the ages of 5 and 13. According to Barna’s findings, people are up to eight times more likely to become Christians before age 13 than they are after age 13.

· According to a Gallup Poll, 84% of people who don’t go to church believe that Jesus rose from the dead.
Ask God:
1. To bless your Easter celebrations and keep your focus on his resurrection.
2. To help your children know that Easter is for them.
3. To keep the joy of Easter in your hearts all year long.
Parenting Insights
These age-level insights from Children’s Ministry Magazine will help you share the Easter message with kids of all ages.

Ages 2 to 5
Tell young children that people who hated Jesus nailed him to a cross and left him there until he died. Explain how sad and afraid Jesus’ friends were but emphasize their joy when Jesus returned to life three days later.

Ages 6 to 9
Fairness is a big deal at this age, so explain in simple language that Christ willingly died in our place because he loves us. Kids may be fascinated by crucifixion details. Avoid euphemisms for death such as sleeping.

Ages 10 to 12
Kids who are familiar with the details of the Easter story are ready for the “why.” Explain why it was necessary for Christ to die, referring to the blood sacrifices of the Old Testament.
April 2010

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Stevens Street Baptist Church
269 S Willow Ave
Suite E
Cookeville, TN 38501
(931)526-6398
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